Whenever You Remember
by lostsunsets
Summary: Slight AU obvs. What started out as a night of comfort and security, turns into something more. And what happens when it does? Mentions of Soccer Cop (Beth x Alison) M just to be safe for future chaps and such...


A/N: So... I don't know. This is just something that had started to form in my mind and I couldn't get it out, so yeah... Also, this is my first OB story, so sorry if it sucks, or I get some the characteristics wrong (pls let me know what I can do to fix it or make it better). And it's not my fault TMAS has chemistry with everyone including herself... Anyway, I hope you enjoy! :)

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The late night rain pounded against the windows of the apartment. Sarah was making her way back to the living room with a new cold beer in her hand and was just about to sit when she heard a knock on the door. Wondering who would be at the door this late at night, she put down her drink and slid open the door, releasing a sigh when she saw who was standing on the other side: Alison. A disheveled Alison was leaning against the door way and was soaked to the bone due to the rain, her eyes were red-rimmed as if she's been crying. Concerned Sarah pulled her in and slid the door closed, placing the screwdriver through the lock. Looking at her distressed clone, Sarah broke the silence. "Alison, what's going on? You alright?"

Alison looked up from her shoes and into Sarah's eyes. Eyes that were so much like her own and so much like hers… Beth's. "You're a lot like her, you know. She was strong and protective. She never let anything stop her from doing what she needed to in order to protect us."

"Beth. Ali-" She was cut off when she felt the pressure of Alison's lips against hers. She wouldn't lie that the feeling of having Alison's lips on her own didn't cause a stir of emotions inside, cause it did. But this wasn't right. Not right on so many different levels.

Gently she pried her identical off of her, hands on her shoulders to keep her steady Sarah stared into Alison's eyes. Searching for answers she didn't have questions for. "Alison, what's going on?"

Alison stared right back, tears brimming her eyes. "Just help me forget tonight, please. I just need one night to keep me from remembering that she left, that she killed herself to get away from all of this… from me. _Please._"

She doesn't know what possessed her to, but staring at Alison, completely lost and heartbroken like that, broke something in Sarah. It was a sight she never wanted to see again and in that moment she knew she'd do whatever the other woman asked of her. Taking a step forward Sarah moved her hands from Alison's shoulders up to cup her face before colliding their lips together in another kiss. Alison's eyes fluttered shut as she reached up and wrapped her arm around Sarah's neck to keep them in the lip lock. Sarah sighed into the kiss before taking it another step forward. Parting Alison's lips with her tongue, she was granted access and their tongues met in a heated battle for dominance.

Alison's hands ventured down to the punk's waist where her fingers found the hem of Sarah's sweater, Sarah seemed to get the message as she allowed Alison to remove it without a word. Left in her tank top, Sarah removed Alison's soaked jacket and shirt, leaving her in her bra and jeans. Sarah's eyes grew darker as she took in the sight of her clone. She smiled and resumed kissing her while she led them to Felix's bed; thankful that he had decided to spend the weekend with Colin as a means to take a vacation from all the clone drama. Reaching the bed, Sarah pushed Alison unto the bed and began undoing her jeans. Disposing of her shoes and her wet jeans, Sarah straddled her hips and took hold of the woman's breasts.

A strangled moan escaped, from who they weren't sure. But as the night went on there were more moans from both girls. And when Sarah helped Alison reach her peak, and heard Alison's cry for Beth as she climaxed, a pain of hurt hit her in the chest. She doesn't understand why she felt a bit like a wounded puppy, but that didn't stop her from rolling unto the side and taking the now crying soccer mom into her arms. "It's alright, Ali. I've got you. You're okay; it's all going to be okay. I'm here for you for whatever you need," Sarah whispered in the space between them. She then placed a soft kiss unto Alison's shoulder and held her throughout the night as she cried.

Before she knew it, sunlight was streaming through the bedroom window and unto her face, causing her to stir awake. Opening her eyes, she took in the person who was still in her arms from the night before. The woman who pleaded with her to forget about life for a moment, the woman who she'll never say no to… no matter how much she may want to. "I'll keep you safe, Alison. I'll protect you the way Beth was supposed to," she whispered so softly to the woman still in her arms and clinging unto her as if she really was Beth.

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The rest of the week passed and Sarah hasn't seen Alison since the morning after, where she shoved her clothes on and left without a word. Sarah had tried to call her but she wouldn't pick up, and whenever she made the trip out to Alison's she didn't answer. She knew Alison was avoiding her and she didn't know how to make things right with the brunette again. She hasn't spoken a word about what happened that night to anyone; not even Felix, whom she shares everything with. She knew he wouldn't care or judge, but it wasn't something for her to just spill to anyone mainly because it was Alison who kissed her first. It was Alison who showed up at the doorstep with a lost expression. It was Alison who had something going on that she couldn't figure out. It wasn't for lack of trying. Sarah wasn't stupid. She knew Alison and Beth had a deeper connection than she let on, hell they probably even had a relationship. But what she couldn't figure out was what caused her to show up on her door like that; especially since she hadn't before.

Alison was never one to trust Sarah very easily, so why show up at her place rather than Aynesley's or one of her other friends? What was it about Sarah that made her choose her over all the other places she could go? She had mentioned that she was a bit like Beth, but why did she show up that night instead of ones before? What happened to trigger whatever it was she had going on? She needed answers and she knew she'd only get them if she could get Alison alone.

Alison on the other hand dreaded the moment she knew she'd have to talk to Sarah about what happened that night. She still wasn't sure how she ended up at Felix's just wanting to talk to someone, but then it was just Sarah standing there with the same look of concern Beth always had when she'd find her with a glass of wine in her hand after a particularly stressful day with Donnie and the kids. Beth, her sweet, loving Beth was still gone when she had woken up in that bed with Sarah. She hated that she put Sarah in that position, but when she saw her still asleep she pretended that she was Beth just for one more moment, before Sarah would wake up.

And now she sat alone in her car, at the field where Beth would take her shooting every Saturday morning, staring out at the snow covered field hating herself for everything that's happened since the day Beth arrived at her doorstep with a crazy explanation. She wished she could take back everything she didn't do or didn't say to Beth. She shakes her head at herself and drops her head into her hands as she feels the tears start to rise again. Taking a deep breath, she manages to pull herself together.

A phone rings in her bag and when she digs out the source of the sound, she finds it's the small pink phone. The one only used by Cosima and Sarah now… She groans when she reads the Caller ID stating that it is in fact Sarah calling her yet again. Before she can debate it, she presses the end button and puts the phone away and laughs softly to herself. Calling her repeatedly from was exactly something Beth always did after they had an argument over something. And she knew if Sarah really was anything like Beth, she'd find her eventually. And yet she's still surprised when the familiar Jaguar pulls up alongside her and she watches as Sarah steps out of the car and walks over to her red mini-van.

For a moment, Sarah just stands there a couple feet away from the door, but then she remembers what she promised Alison that following morning and steps up to the window. Alison rolls down the window and looks at the woman who is so much like Beth, and yet so different.

"You've been avoiding me, yeah?" Sarah begins. Alison only stares back at her. Releasing a sigh, Sarah shrugs and shakes her head in wonder. "Why? Alison, what's going on?"

After fiddling with her necklace, Alison rolls the window back up and steps out of the car. Her posture straight and head held high as usual. She stands not two feet away from Sarah when she says, "I apologize Sarah, but I can't explain it."  
"I don't accept that."

"Fine. Six months ago Beth came to me and told me that we were…you know."

"Clones."

Alison huffs at the c-word but continues. "And as you've probably figured out already, we had an intimate relationship. It didn't last long, obviously, but she was the only person I could talk to, whom I could rely on. And the last thing I said to her before she… well, let's just say we didn't end on good terms. That night I showed up at your door, I needed to forget, I went there only because I was looking for Felix to talk to, since his phone was off, but you were there and you remind me a lot of Beth. I am sorry for putting you in that position, but I didn't know what else I could do to make myself forget, even if it was just for a little bit."

Sarah took a deep breath and allowed Alison's confession to sink in and when she looked back up at Alison, she saw her tight jaw, probably set to keep the tears at bay. There was so much about Alison she didn't know, so much that she wanted to know. But standing here in the same field Alison taught Sarah to shoot in, all she wanted to do was take her in her arms and never let go. So that's what Sarah did, she stepped forward and hesitantly wrapped her arms around the slightly shaking woman with the broken heart. She held her in arms and made a silent promise to wherever Beth may be that she'd look after her and protect her. And she was never one to break a promise.

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A/N: thoughts? Review! Again, sorry if it sucked, like I said: first OB fic!


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